Care

"You don't even care if he do that?"
.
"Care?"She raised her eyebrows.
"Does he even care if I care?"
.
"What do you mean?"He asked,confused.
.
"Once I care so much about him.I care so much 'till I become blind with the truth.I care so much until I'm willing to offer my whole world and heart just for him.But does he even care that I care?"
.
He sip a gulp of vodka down burning his throat.
.
"Funny isn't it?"she paused.
.
"How funny when they started to care when people that once care for them so much leave them because they take it for granted.And what makes me laugh is when they played victim.Trying to look innocent as he didn't know how much it took from me to leave him."
.
Her voice shakes.
.
"It took everything.I was left with nothing.It's so dark.Why?"She asked him.
.
"Because you make him the stars in your sky.No.You make him the galaxies.So that when you left him,he took everything from you.That's why it was so dark"
.
He said as he tied his gaze with hers.
.
And he started to wonder since when those pairs of golden brown eyes that once full of dreams,hope and love turns so dark and lost.
.
180717/0116
.
thedot.com

Curiosity killed the cat

They said that curiosity killed the cat but the cat have 9 lives.Realising that,the cat always curious about something and would do anything to fulfil her desire.
Yeah,she got nine lives.But her life become one lesser everytime she'd been killed.
Because she rather live in a painful truth rather than comforting lies.Maybe sometimes she dreamed of dancing in a pair of glass shoes but in her mind,she always knows that she will turned into bubbles once she touched the seas.But in the meantime,just for once she want to keep her beauty sleep before she eat the red apples of hurtful truth.
Because when she landed on the ground from the magic carpet,she still a cat.

030717/2352

Garang

He said;
.
"Miza,kau ni garang sangat laa.Nanti semua lelaki tak nak dekat"
.
I answered;
.
"Perempuan garang ada 2 sebab;
1.Sebab nak menjaga hati sendiri dari terluka lagi.
2.Ada hati lain yang perlu aku jaga.
.
So,kau yang mana?
.
Aku senyum."
.
090617/1304

Rapuh

Allah mengurniakan air mata sebagai simbol kekuatan kepada manusia agar dia dapat kembali mengumpul kekuatan apabila jatuh tersungkur.
.
Apabila hati ini mengeluh;
"Ya Allah aku penat."
Lalu Dia menjawab;
"Tidak aku turunkan ujian kepada hambaku melainkan dia mampu menghadapinya."
.
Apabila hati ini terdetik;
"Ya Allah,ujian apakah ini?"
Lalu dia membisik;
"Bagaimanakah mereka mengaku bahawa mereka dalam kalangan orang orang yang beriman sedangkan mereka tidak pernah diuji?"
.
Manusia itu lemah.Apatah lagi seperti kata kata Kekasih bahawa iman kita hanyalah senipis kulit bawang.
.
Ada masanya hati berbolak balik inginkan jalan pulang.
.
Ada kalanya hati berenang renang inginkan bebas dari cengkaman persoalan.
.
Ada ketikanya hati lantang persoalkan takdir yang membuatkan aku tersungkur di landasan kebenaran.
.
Ketika itulah kekuatan Iman teruji lemas di padang pasir putus asa dan bisikan ghaib.
.
Saat itulah hati ini akan teringatkan kekasih yang berlari lari mencari umatnya walaupun ketika itu iman hanyalah sebesar biji sawi.
Kekasih yang seumur hidupnya tidak pernah mempersoalkan takdir yang tertulis walau diuji ancaman nyawa dan kehilangan yang tercinta.
Kekasih yang sepatunya dipenuhi air merah untuk aku bernafas dalam keagunngan Islam sehingga ke hari ini.
.

اَللّهمَّ إِلَيْكَ أَشْكُوْ ضُعْفَ قُوَّتِيْ ، وَقِلَّةَ حِيْلَتِيْ ،

وَهَوَانِيْ عَلَى النَّاسِ ، يَا أَرْحَمَ الرَّاحِمِيْنَ ، أَنْتَ

رَبُّ الْمُسْتَضْعَفِيْنَ ، وَأَنْتَ رَبِّي
.
Allahuma inni ashku ilayka du'fa quwati wa qilata heelati wa hawaani ala annaas. yaa arham araahimin, anta rab almustadafeena wa anta rabi
.
"Oh, Allah, I appeal to you for the weakness in my strength, and my limited power, and the treatment of contempt and humiliation from people. To you, the most Merciful of all the Merciful ones, you are the Lord of the oppressed, and you are my Lord."

"Ya Allah,Aku pohon kepadamu kekuatan dalam kelemahanku,dalam kekuasaanku dan dalam menghadapi ujian Mu.KepadaMu,yang Maha Pemurah Lagi Maha Penyanyang,kaulah Tuhanku maka tidak akan aku berpaling daripadamu."
.
Diam.Hati rasa lapang.
.
080517/1906

Okay?

It's okay you know.
It's okay for you to be sad. It's okay to be depressed once in a while.  Its okay to cry until your eyes hurts. It's okay to not getting out of your bed this morning.It's okay to not to laugh and take some times for yourself. Its okay to listen to that one song that means so much to you on repeat.  It's okay to find yourself again. It's okay to do things that make you smile.It's okay to watch 5 movies a day just to waste your time.  Its okay to be yourself. And everything is going to be okay.