Gagau

Akan adanya satu ketika
Kau akan gagau mencari jalan pulang
Meraba dalam semi realiti
Untuk tapak maju ke hadapan
Saat itulah hati teriak rapuh lemah hancur
Batin menjerit dahagakan satu pengertian
Tercari cari satu benda yang tidak pasti

Tersungkur pijak jatuh terkejar kejar satu pelangi
Mengagau mengharapkan mentari

Malap hilang terpejam
Pacaindera tutup dosa dosa silam
Mulut yang lantang tiada kosa berhias
Pekak dari suara kedamaian

Mengertilah jiwamu menangis kelemasan
Gagau inginkan jalan untuk pulang

Patahlah tak usah kau teruskan
Berpalinglah cukuplah
Fahamilah
Kasihanilah
Seksa tubuhmu batinmu

Sandarlah ke bahuku
Peluklah kehangatanku
Eratkanlah genggaman jarimu

Akan aku perlahankan waktu untuk kita
Telusuri persisir jalan yang kita bina
Mereka kisah kisah ketawa
Dalam bahagia walau tergigit derita

Ayuh bangkitlah
Kekuatanku pinjamlah
Agar kau mampu berpijak lagi
Sekalah tangis
Cukup sudah ayuh kita menerusi

.thdotcom
2323/113019

Changed

The said that when you started to fall in love,you've change.

You've change the way you talk. You've change the way you smile. You've change the you walk,the way you styled your hair,how you dressed.

But the most obvious things is you will changed.

You will also changed how you viewed this world. Once so cruel and grey with a little hope. Then they come along asking you for a dance in string melody of peace. The spark are there. You fall gracefully and they catch you.

You will started to noticing how blue the sky. How it change from violet to dark on sunset. How birds chirping from east to south coming back to their lived one. And then you'll know where are you belong. You started to make them home.

A home that you can feel safe. A home that you can always come back to when this world is to tough for you. But no worries cause you'll be strong. They'll be there to keep you on your knees. Holding your hands and keep you close to their heart.

And at that time you'll realize that home is never a place. It's a pair of eyes and a heartbeat.❤

11116/180418
-thedot.com-

Surat langit 02

Hai mak
Dah setahun dah mak pergi. Macam baru semalam je. Alhamdulillah hari2 semakin biasa dengan hidup sekarang.

Okay,tipu.

Hari2 semakin okay dengan penipuan yang cakap kat diri sendiri aku okay.

Yeah,mak.

Kecik kecik dulu mak selalu marah kalau menipu. Ingat lagi kena rotan,kena sebat sebab menipu pasal kerja rumah,kerja sekolah.

Tapi sejak dari mak pergi.
Tak tahu nak jujur macam mana lagi. Tak tahu nak jujur dengan siapa.

Bila ada orang tersebut pasal mak,muka ni dah biasa menipu. Mulut dah biasa senyum. Ketawa dah biasa keluar. Tapi bila sorang,hanya tuhan saja yang tahu betapa banyak air mata yang tumpah. Tak tipu.

Cemburu tengok orang lain boleh call mak dia bermanja. Tapi kita dah tak ada semua tu. Cemburu tengok orang lain keluar shopping. Kalau ada trip kelas ke mana mana mesti beli hadiah untuk mak diorang. Pilih tudung,baju. Tapi kita?
Hanya mampu tengok je.

Pernah ternampak sepasang baju kurung batik putih biru. Terdetik dalam hati nak beli untuk mak. Sebab mak mesti suka. Mak kan memang suka pakai lawa lawa.
Tapi tertanya pula,bila mak nak pakai?

Terkeluar pulak " kalau mak aku ada mesti aku beli untuk mak aku "

Sampai kawan terdiam. Tapi cepat tersedar. Gelak lagi,menipu lagi.

Tipu orang dah jadi benda biasa dalam hidup anak mak ni. Maaf mak bukan sengaja.

Hari masa konvokesyen. Kawan kawan semua parents datang. Naik pentas sama sama. Ambil gambar dan hadiah. Tapi anak mak ni? Sorang. Nasib lecturer tolong wakilkan sebagai penjaga.

Atas pentas tu boleh nampak mak tengah duduk senyum. Kalau mak ada masa tu,mesti seronok. Boleh tunjuk piala yang anak mak ni menang. Boleh selfie pakai jubah konvo. Mak kan suka selfie.

Tapi maaf mak, anak mak ni sekali lagi menipu sebab senyum je. Tergelak gelak sebab nak bagi nampak happy.

Maaf mak. Anak mak memang penipu. Mak memang tak pernah ajar. Tapi anak mak ni belajar sendiri.

Bukan tak sayang mak. Tapi sebab sayang orang kat sekeliling. Tak nak bagi diorang rasa bersalah sebab gembira sedangkan kita ni sedih. So,kita pun tipu la biar sama sama happy.

Maaf sekali lagi mak. Moga mak redha dengan anak mak yang penipu ni.

-thedot.com-
051217/1404

Beautiful

Someone asked me
"How to be beautiful?"
First question I ask her is
"what for?why do you want to be beautiful?"
"To wear pretty clothes. I want to wear make up and make others stare at me"
"What for?"
She can't answered.
.
So why do you want to be beautiful? It is to make all the boys droll over you? Or want to make all the girlfriends jealous? Or just to be popular making them turned to you twice? For what? What do you get from that? What do get for impressing people for just a minute and they'll forget  about you a second later?
.
You want to be beautiful even though you have to wear an inch of make? Walking in those killing 3 inch red stiletto? Okay,just try do that. Wear them and stare into the mirror then asked yourself.
.
Is this you? Is this what you want? Is this where you want to spend all the money and time impressing those walking figures that you don't even know?
.
Why would you?
.
Why you tried so hard just not for you? Just living for impress people about the definition of beautiful?
.
Why beautiful? Why not we be pretty instead?
.
Pretty smart,pretty funny,pretty hardworking.
.
Wear those sneakers,caps and jeans. Laugh live and love yourself. Enjoy your life and don't even think twice to fulfill people dreams about the "beautiful" word.
.
Be you and the beautiful you will come out.
.
So next time don't ever ask me again. It's like a blind leading a blind. You will never see the light 😂
.
1107/200917
-thedot.com-

Care

"You don't even care if he do that?"
.
"Care?"She raised her eyebrows.
"Does he even care if I care?"
.
"What do you mean?"He asked,confused.
.
"Once I care so much about him.I care so much 'till I become blind with the truth.I care so much until I'm willing to offer my whole world and heart just for him.But does he even care that I care?"
.
He sip a gulp of vodka down burning his throat.
.
"Funny isn't it?"she paused.
.
"How funny when they started to care when people that once care for them so much leave them because they take it for granted.And what makes me laugh is when they played victim.Trying to look innocent as he didn't know how much it took from me to leave him."
.
Her voice shakes.
.
"It took everything.I was left with nothing.It's so dark.Why?"She asked him.
.
"Because you make him the stars in your sky.No.You make him the galaxies.So that when you left him,he took everything from you.That's why it was so dark"
.
He said as he tied his gaze with hers.
.
And he started to wonder since when those pairs of golden brown eyes that once full of dreams,hope and love turns so dark and lost.
.
180717/0116
.
thedot.com